‘All those child psychologists who said “John prefers to play by himself” were dead wrong’.

 “I did not want to play alone, I played alone because I was a failure at playing with others.” -John Elder Robison

Another touching, yet scary realization John Elder Robison shares in his book, Look Me in the Eye.

“As a functional Aspergian adult, one thing troubles me deeply about those kids who end up behind the second door. Many descriptions of autism and Asperger’s describe people like me as “not wanting contact with others” or “preferring to play alone.” I can not speak for other kids, but I’d like to be very clear about my own feelings: I did not ever want to be alone. And all those child psychologists who said “John prefers to play by himself” were dead wrong. I played by myself because I was a failure at playing with others. I was alone as a result of my own limitations, and being alone was one of the bitterest disappointments of my young life. The sting of those early failures followed me long into adulthood, even after I learned about Asperger’s.”

Passage taken from: Robison, John Elder. Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s. New York: Crown, 2007. Pg 211.

I do not know about you but this passage hit me hard. As a teacher, I wonder how I am supposed to encourage the play of all students when some students on the outside seem unwilling to play with others. Students tend to avoid activities that are hard so it should not come to a shock when a student with Asperger’s removes themselves from a group of people to feel “safe” or more “secure”.

Throughout my years of interacting with students, I have learned that every child wants to be accepted and loved for who they are as individuals. While some people are definitely more extraverted than others, no one wants to live life fully alone. We must be sure to include students the best we can and create opportunities of play for students who struggle. Without the child knowing, teachers can be consciousness of who they pair a student with Asperger’s with and create environments that encourage structured playing time. Structured playing time may help the child with Asperger’s to play with more ease and not feel the bitter disappointment of playing alone.

Students with Asperger’s can also be taught and instructed in what is considered appropriate behavior. Students without Asperger’s must also be taught how one should treat and include all human beings. With this said, teachers can have classroom discussions that include all students about appropriate behavior during play, recess, or lunch to help create an inclusive and safe environment for all students to interact and feel included.

I believe the teacher or the parent plays a huge role in setting the standard of how students in her classroom or home treat one another. Students can be taught basic principles of respect, understanding, and manners. This simple classroom discussion can lead to happy people and happy students, and prevent more passages as the one read above about John Elder Robison.

 As stated in a previous post, I highly recommend the book: “Look Me in the Eye” by John Elder Robinson to gain a better understanding on people with Aspergers.

Another inspiring passage from “Look me in the Eye”

A quick word from John Elder Robinson:

“…. our brains continue to develop throughout our lives. This is completely counter to what I’ve often heard but never accepted: “If you’re autistic, you never change.” If I am any example, it is possible to teach old dogs new tricks. In fact, my entire life exemplified continuing change”.

“As a kid, I was voted “most likely to fail,” and indeed, I flunked out of high school. Yet only a few years later I became an engineer on one of the biggest rock ‘n’ roll tours in the world. Then I helped design some of the first electronic games. When I was in my thirties, I made a complete change of direction, raising akid and starting an automobile business. And at fifty, I changed course once again, becoming a successful author.”

Passage taken from: Robison, John Elder. Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s. New York: Crown, 2007. Pg 284.

As stated in previous posts, I highly recommend the book: “Look Me in the Eye” by John Elder Robinson to gain a better understanding on people with Asperger’s.

A must read: “Look me in the eye”

“As sweet and funny and sad and true and heartfelt a memoir as one could find.”—from the foreword by Augusten Burroughs

Look me in the eye” by John Elder Robison is a must read for anyone wishing to have a better understanding of people with Aspergers.

John Elder, a natural storyteller, remarkably shares a personal and detailed narrative of his life and his battles of feeling accepted by family, friends, and teachers who did not understand how his brain worked. He was not diagnosed until the age of 40 and was simply labeled as a “social deviant” growing up.

From overcoming his painful childhood, he persisted to become a successful business man repairing high-end cars. In his humorous, yet at times sad acount, John Elder creativly takes readers into the mind of an Asperger’s boy. This book will open up the minds and eyes of readers who may lack understanding or grace for people with Aspergers. This is a great summer read and is highly recommended.

 A note from the author: “When I wrote “Look Me in the Eye”, I wanted to show readers what it was like to grow up feeling like a freak or a misfit. I thought my book would show how people with Asperger’s are different from everyone else. To my great surprise, my book actually shows the opposite: Deep down, people are very much the same”.

 I agree with the author and would encourage all to buy and read this book! 🙂